As an artist, it feels uncomfortable sometimes to share your work, as it’s like revealing some part of you which is sacred. Which makes me feel uncomfortable at times, especially when there's unhealthy criticism, judgement and competitiveness, which lessens the grace of your revelation. Yet I find release in sharing, expansion in letting other know this - in betweenness of the art work of knowing and not - knowing, for if I really knew, I wouldn’t share and there would be nothing to reveal.
It’s an act of grace in vak - mind - vision- vaikhari - an act of revelation by lord shiva in cryptic way- through an art work.
A lot of times I try to hide, but I don’t find peace in that also, its because, the works done by me, could be done by none other, its my personal story, which arrives each time at a culmination, through the work of art in all humbleness, which is why he made this personal story to reveal his glory, through the graceful act of art.
And because it requires courage to do so repeatedly, so only you could do this - abstract art work - with affirmative awareness of knowing yet not knowing- as an artist you are taking roads least taken, or in this case never taken, as each path is unique.
No one could have done what he created me for! That’s why it’s special. When you really know the alchemical story you went through to produce that marvelous art work. I like presenting lords subjective art works to his own creation. Where there is energy transmission but not everything is vivid, so it sounds magical, mystical, occult, symbolic and mysterious!
To explain that from the basis of Kashmir Shaivism artists create from the different spaces of Vak(Speech) - Para, Pasyanti, Madhyama, Vaikhari.
Quoting from Secret Supreme " Para means supreme and para vak is the supreme speech. It is that soundless sound which resides in your own universal consciousness. It is the supreme sound which has no sound. It is the life of the other three kinds of speech which comprise the kingdom of speech, pasyanti, madhyama and vaikhari, and yet it is not in the kingdom of speech.
- Pasyanti vak(Subtlest) is that speech which is without differentiation. This is that state which is partially undifferentiated and partially differentiated. This is moving to the first flow of the perception of that which you are observing. I this first flow of your perception, you were observing, you were looking but not seeing anything.
- Madhyama vak(Subtle)is that state of mind where you reside only in thoughts. This state is only mental.It is without letters, words, or sentences. When you are asleep and dreaming, you are residing in madhyama vak.
- Vaikhari(Gross) means gross, rough. This gross speech is ordinary speech. When you utilize vaikhari, you have to use your tongue and lips."
Journey of a piece of an art work is somewhat similar, as at first you just have a feeling/emotion to expand upon. Then thoughts start churning up along with visions. And finally when artist starts the work on canvas the image appears in the gross form, which again goes through modifications. Here, new additions to the work again come in the same sequence.
And there are even occurrences where I just drew an image, due to a push I felt at heart center, to only find out the real meaning of those vision, years later. So on one hand there's nothing under your control, you just follow the flow of Vak in terms of an artist here.
Painting and letting that experience flow out on canvas in the visual form is a surprise treat to myself each time. That which is created was never seen and planned, it just happened spontaneously.
The freedom that one finds in discovering that piece of art work is beyond all limitations of what should be and what should not which is a minuscule representation of that ultimate freedom(svatantraya). An artist gets to experience in those moments the freedom which otherwise is difficult to exercise in mundaneness of pattern filled life. That which yogi’s call Svatantraya - the universal freedom! A creator gets to breathe moments of freedom in the creation cycle of an art work. And that’s why artists do what they do, some knowingly and some unknowingly, but somewhere inside it knows that freedom that it experiences.
As an artist you are somewhere between imagination and that exists.
An artist tries to give a visionary perspective of what it might look like- a feeling, reality, an emotion, a beauty! You can't share a reality if you have really experienced it. If you share it then it's not what it is. I feel an artist shares a vision of somewhere in between.
It's about being the expression of who you are and what you believe in. But if you evolve at God speed then where is the time to express outwardly to others, because the external society is transfixed and walking an year a step pace... The only place to express and be is art for an introspective artist, and hence as time passes by for an artist it becomes difficult to relate with family and friends.
Exceptionally when you come full circle of your thinking brain cycle you realize, they are nothing but a reflection of self, and hence there's no difference between them and me but yet at their own individualistic self they cannot relate to me because the deer in them has decided to play the play the way they are playing!
But the aspects that I am trying to highlight here is our daily lives are about expressing ourselves, which manifests via the actions we do with body and the environment into which the mind wants to be, based on the knowledge it believes in. But for an artist the doing manifests in the thought process and to an extent in the art that he practices. Hence we strive to find the fulfillment in doing breakthrough works via creating the expression of self, to live in Svatantraya.